"You give them something to eat!"

In this circumstance with Sarah, Jen and I, it may seem like we don't have much to give. We should be worried about ourselves, putting ourselves first in everything. It's okay, I guess, to think this way. But we've felt there is another way to think about things. It could seem like all we have to give in this situation is five loaves of bread and two fish; as if that wasn't enough. Well, it's kind of true, that about sums it up. But I'm realizing with the little we have WITH God, it sometimes is too much! We have more than we need for ourselves and our five loaves and two fish can feed a multitude of folks. He's saying we have an abundance, so we can give it all away. We can give it to Jesus. We can open up our hearts and care about not only ourselves, but others too. And that's how it's been feeling lately since Sarah has arrived. We have more than enough for ourselves. We have so much to give. "Look at Jesus and the Father... What do we not have?!" Our hearts are also saying: "Let's give it away." God is very gracious. He's teaching us to be the same way. He is continuing to teach us how to position our lives and lay down our perspectives and ways of approaching life and healing, so that not only we are fed but those around us. When He breaks the bread of our lives, everyone gets to eat.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live but Christ in me."

God showed me a picture in my heart yesterday while I was praying with Jen. I saw a cross in my heart, with the front of my heart wide open, allowing anyone looking to see in. I felt God speaking that there is a cross in us. God is drawing people to it. That cross in us takes the pain of the world upon it. Jesus took it all from us. He took all the pain, the hurt, the sin, the sickness, the disease, He took it all so that we could be free. So it is. And the work was a complete one. You can add nothing to it. We are free. The problem is so many of us are not seeing that fully realized in our lives, to see it come to full expression in our experience. Positionally it's done, but experienctially most of us are still in progress. That would describe Jen and I...and Sarah too. So this is the jist of what I was hearing yesterday as an insight into healing. This is by no means a complete picture of my theology of healing - it's only an aspect of healing I felt Him revealing to me. This is the beginning of a meditation on a aspect of healing I'm still processing. So this is not a complete thought - I'm simply journaling what I'm hearing. May it bless you...

By us opening our hearts to care for people, the cross in our hearts become visible. The power of the cross and all that it represents is present to heal. The people in pain see their freedom when they are allowed to look into our hearts and see the cross and the freedom we have. The cross to Jesus symbolized death, but to us it is not a symbol of death but rather a symbol of life. It represents so many things, but the one I felt God emphasizing here was the one of "freedom through love". The cross is a symbol of our freedom. When people are allowed to look into our hearts they are able to see life not death. And when they see our freedom through an open heart, they are seeing Jesus, they are seeing the Father, they are seeing the power of the cross in our lives, that is also available to them.

"It is no longer I who live but Christ in me." It's like what Jesus said to Phillip about seeing the Father in Him: "He who has seen Me has seen the Father..." And then following: "Believe Me that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me..."

For people to see the Father in Jesus, Jesus had to open His heart. How else would they see the Father without looking "into" Him, "into" His heart? The walls had to be out of the way. This openness of heart Jesus lived in was the way in which He was to reveal the Father through the power of the Holy Spirit. He said to Phillip if you don't believe Me, and can't see the Father this way, "... believe on account of the works themselves." His "works", and His words were also ways in which He was revealing the Father. There are others. But what I felt God emphasizing to me was the way His openness of heart revealed the Father. His open heart was a key to a lifestyle of living and abiding in the Holy Spirit and the kingdom and seeing healings and miracles of every kind. For us it's the same. We are to allow people to see "into" us who is dwelling there. Something happens when they do. Something is available to them if we will. Not only are miracles available to them but they are to see Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, and the resulting freedom and healing that's accessible to them. I feel that's why God showed me a cross visible in my heart. When they see the cross in our hearts, they see the heart of God. It's a revelation of love for them. It speaks to a life laid down for their sake. That's what they saw in Jesus even before He gave His life on the cross. They saw that the cross was already alive in His heart. He had already given His life for them. The cross confirmed outwardly to the world an inward reality that was already true. That's partly why people followed Him. No one lived that way. Everyone was out for their own interests not those of others. Our hearts and lives are to reflect that same truth. Paul said it like this when he saw this same kind of heart come alive in Timothy.

"For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare. For they seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus."

"... no longer I who live but Christ in me." People are looking for a love that is about them, that is for them, that chooses them, that takes the time to care and accept them, that cares about their pain and helps them to get free. People want to see that kind of heart in us that was so visible in Jesus. When we live open to people's pain to care for their pain, the cross of Jesus is made available to them through us. And what they see draws them to us, just like it drew them to Jesus. When we open our hearts not only are they drawn to us, but God draws near to them. The spiritual atmosphere begins to change in that moment over them concerning the problem they face as we allow compassion to flow through us. We can see in any situation the Spirit of God about to turn water into wine, "the Word into flesh", ashes blown into worship, depression into joy, and pain into peace. We simply have to learn how to love and take the risk of opening our hearts to care and to love. By doing so we give that person an opportunity for an encounter with a living God who gave his life to them on a cross so that they would be free.

Jesus wants us to open our hearts to them and care about what they are struggling with. He says: "You give them something to eat." And like in the feeding of the thousands, Jesus heals the people because He "felt compassion for them healing their sick." We are to do the same. Compassion is a heart opening up to care. Out of it flows healing. But something else was happening in the hearts of His disciples, in those who were with Him. Somehow the hearts of His disciples were not understanding the heart of God for the multitude. Who knows why? But it's clear to see one thing Jesus is showing us through this story. There was a heart condition in His followers that needed to be lovingly confronted and changed.

This is what was in their hearts concerning the people. This is what they said: "The place is desolate, and the time is already past; so send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves."

Jesus responded by saying: "They do not need to go away; you give them something to eat!"

Jesus turns it back to them, telling them to be apart of the answer to the people's problem. It's simple, we bring what we have to Jesus and He multiplies what we can give, but first we must be willing to give. What's being spoke of here isn't only about multiplying food. I believe what Jesus is showing us and is looking for is more than believing for a miracle and faith to do that. He's looking at the heart, looking for love. He's looking into them to see what's there. And what He sees is confronted, "They do not need to go away; you give them something to eat!"

In other words He said, "How 'bout you open your heart to care. Sending people away is not the answer. Closing your heart to their needs is not the answer. I want you to do something about it. I want you to give them something. I want you to open your heart. I'm here with you. What you lack in caring for them all, I will make up the difference. For I have more than enough to go around. I just need you to care about them. Get your heart repositioned and let the love flow. Give me what you have and I'll increase it. If you'll do that, they will see me. What you do is a reflection of me, as what I do reflects on the Father. I'm here with you. Open to them and give to them what you have so that I may give to them my abundance, all that's been made available to you and to them through my life."

"He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed the food, and breaking the loaves He gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave to the multitudes, and they all ate and were satisfied."

One of the most satisfying things in life is to care about people. Everyone gets to partake of the goodness of God when people are cared for. We all have five loaves and two fish. In our eyes, that kind of care and love for someone isn't enough. Well it isn't if you don't open your heart. But as soon as you do, Jesus is blessing what you give, and breaking it wide open to increase it. The multiplication starts to happen with the opening of the heart. All that was paid for on the cross is a free gift to us now. It's a free gift to them. We don't have to go buy it somewhere else and go into the village to get it. It's freely given. A life, a beautiful one, already paid for it all. Listen:

"Ho! Every one who thirst, come to the waters;
And you who have no money come, buy and eat.
Come, buy wine and milk without mony and without cost.
Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And delight yourself in abundance.
Incline your ear and come to Me.
Listen that you may live...

And let him return to the Lord
And He will have compassion on him..."


The man who is saying all of this has healing in His wings - He is Almighty God, Prince of Peace, Eternal Father, Wonderful Counselor! Imagine thousands upon thousands with all the needs, hurts and problems there to deal with, and to boot, they are hungry. Sound familiar? Do you ever see situations like this, or lives like this, or communities or cities like this? And Jesus says, not only to them, but to me, to all of us, "You give them something to eat." "They don't need to go away."



To be continued...

In the confidence of our Father

"Be joyful... rejoice for her, all who love her." (continued)




Part 2 KNOWING EACH OTHER ACCORDING TO THE SPIRIT

"... As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;
And shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
Then you shall see this, and your heart shall be glad.
And your bones will flourish like the new grass."

We've been realizing again how God looks upon the church, upon us, even Sarah, and sees everything complete. He knows us acording to the Spirit, not according to the flesh. He sees us wrapped in Jesus. We are clothed with Him. So the Father is not looking at us seeing all our imperfections, flaws, and sins. It seems He is looking to bring to fruition and bring to light all that is already existing in His heart for us, what He's already done. His intent is to manifest what already is true. If parts of our lives are where they should be, if Sarah isn't whole in body, soul, mind and spirit and heart the way she should be, then He's wanting to correct that and bring about a change. He wants "the word" - His opinion, His testimony of her life to be realized, to become flesh. He wants the reality of Heaven to fill the earth, even little Sarah's body. "The Word became flesh" He's forever doing that, causing the Spirit to be "fleshed out" in us, so we become the embodiment of that word. We are to be moms and dads... like Him of course. So He speaks to us sharing His perspective according to the Spirit, not according to the flesh. He's speaking to us about Sarah according to how He sees her, not accordding to how the doctors might see her.

God sees the Church complete and perfected. It's not living that out yet, but He's purposed in His heart to move her there. He's moving her to a place where she is fully the mother giving the full measure of comfort she was and is meant to give. In her, in the her bosom we will be comforted. When we see this come into a more complete expression, whether now or later, it says our hearts will be glad. I think He's speaking of tremendous, outrageous joy and gladness.

With the gift of Sarah to our lives, God is saying:

"I am making you into my church, a mother and father who comforts and cares for my beautiful child-bride. She may seem incomplete and not fully formed to the fullness I have for her, but she will be. I want you to see her that way. I want you to stop looking at her shortcomings and her sins. Do not reject her or despise her. I want you to get my heart for her. I desire that you would get my heart of love for her and see how beautiful she is as if seeing her for the first time, like when you see a little boy or a little girl whose pure and innocent and full of life, joy and excitement about life. It's like what Adam saw when he first set eyes on Eve. I want to give you eyes to see her that way. I will help you see that in her, not only in Sarah but in my people. I want you to see it in those that have yet to come to know me, for they are like Sarah too. Not only do I want you to know people according to the Spirit, but I want you to see every circumstance according to the Spirit. Every circumstance, every conversation, every moment of your life there is a perspective for you to step into that I've made available to you. You simply have to train your eyes and ears to live there. The gates of the kingdom are always open to you. I am always with you and all that I have is yours. I have something for you in every situation. I've already prepared these things for you. All you have to do is simply live without walls. You must live open heartedly... live without fear. If you learn to do that with every person, with every circumstance that you face, nothing will be impossible for you. Mountains will move and the gates of hell will not prevail. You will be indomitable You'll be more than an overcomer. You'll live in perfect peace. You'll be unmoved by the storms of life. You'll be able to speak peace to the storms and they will be still. And this life will be for you - a celebration of my life in you. You will be rejoicing always and full of my joy. Behold I extend peace to you like a river."


Through the gift of Sarah to our lives, we are learning that God wants to teach us to live increasingly in the Spirit. Watching Jen with Sarah everyday is a constant reminder of where we need to be living. It's a choice we have to make moment by moment. It might seem as if we are living a fantasy at times trying to escape what's really going on. I often wonder if people think we're doing that. I'm sure some do. It doesn't really matter either way. We have to live out this situation the best we can. We also know how easy it is to become cynical and calloused and to have a dull heart, an unbelieving heart. We want to avoid that. That would be far worse to allow our hearts to be filled with that kind of poison.

Listening to God is sometimes subjective and unclear. But I know He's okay with us making mistakes. He's wanting us to grow in the knowledge of His ways, and get to know Him better. He's more concerned about our trusting Him I think, than us always getting it right. We are going to stay imperfect. We will always live with weakness and our inadequacies. And I'm so thankful He's okay with that. In the gospels He made that reall clear to Peter.

We are learning to keep embracing our weaknesses and accepting them while leaning into the perfection and healing of God and all His strength made available to us in our weakness. Without God we are powerless to do anything for Sarah. But with God, we have the power to see the impossible submit to the authority and lordship of Jesus. We are expectant, but fully vulnerable in holding our hearts out this way. We do it because His hands are underneath us. We also know what joy it brings Him to see His kids confident in who He is to them as they face difficult circumstances. That's something any father would enjoy. Fathers I think love seeing their kids take risks when it is directly influenced by their fathering in their life. I can hear a father saying even now: "That's my boy... look at him now... look at him go! I'm so proud of Him."

While we hold onto the words Father has shared with us, we are willing to yield where we still need to. We are willing to change course if He wants us to. We want our hopes to be solely in Him alone, not in Sarah's healing. In all that has been said, this is true, we are trusting not in what we want to happen, but in what He says He wants to do. We do our best to hear what that is. We try to keep ourselves from running down paths that are in an attempt to comfort ourselves. If we took paths like that we could end up disappointed and deeply wounded, or possibly disillusioned.

Thank you God for your ways and your thoughts. Bring us more Holy Spirit... tell us of what Father has been dreaming up even before we were born. Take from Him that which He wants to give to us in this time.

I saw the stars tonight. God reminded me of what He said to Abraham, of what He promise Abraham. Abraham is a father to us. And as it was for him so it is with us. We are walking down paths others have worn in before us, even paths Abraham himself walked. They are not new. Solomon said, "There is nothing new under the sun." Our situation is not new, it's the stuff of dreams. God shared His dream for Abraham with Him and I feel He's doing the same with us. So we take the way of of our father going in the confidence He has given to us looking to the stars and there blinking faces to remember the promises that we all share in common.

"Be joyful.. rejoice for her, all who love her"

Jen shared with me a revelation the other day concerning this situation with Sarah. She said that God had spoken to her about her heart for Sarah, so I asked her what He said? She said that her Heart, after receiving the news about Sarah's condition, brought her to a deeper love for Sarah. When she realized that Sarah was in the safest place she could be by being in her womb and that Sarah wasn't in pain there, it brought Jen comfort. She feels blessed to carry Sarah and to be able to give her a safe place inside her.

So God spoke to her concerning that and said: "My church is like Sarah, broken and lame. The love you have for Sarah is the love you could have for my church. Why don't you love the church the way you love Sarah?"

Jen will openly say she has struggled to love the church at times due to its structures, the religiousity, hypocrisy, and because of its lack of a genuine sense of "being real" about things, just to name a few. It's been hard for her to feel comfortable in the way things operate. She loves the people, but hasn't felt connected to the lack of relational culture most churches cultivate. Anyway, Sarah has changed her heart concerning all this, she now looks forward to going to church because it gives her a chance to love the church in the same way she's loving little Sarah.

"My church is like Sarah..." A people who are being born anew, whose lives are woefully limping along. A people so loved by God that He wants to heal them and make them whole. Where they are lame, He wants to heal them. Where things haven't formed properly, He wants to make them perfect in Him. We've been contemplating those things. In our own lives, we feel that same sense of Him bringing healing where there was once brokeness.

We feel through Sarah's life that she is a picture, a type and shadow of a spiritual reality existing in the church of Santa Barbara, as well as in the larger body of His church across this state and nation. We are more than slightly limping; our lives, to different degrees, are crippled.

I watch Jen carry this child not just in her womb but in her heart. It's beautiful to watch and understand. Not everything is visible yet. Things are hidden beyond her physical ability to see them. She's hoping for Sarah. She's praying for Sarah. She's holding Sarah, thinking about her, wanting the best for her. She's thankful for her life just the way she is, but is still believing for her to be complete and whole and overflowing with all that God has for her. She's fighting for Sarah. She's carrying Sarah in her heart and body everyday. There is a vital connection she shares with Sarah because she is her mother. Jen's life is a resource for all that Sarah needs. Anything Sarah needs, she can draw on Jen for because Jen's life is to see Sarah formed to the will and image of God.

Sarah is going to be a bride someday. A friend of ours had a dream about Sarah recently and saw her in a wedding dress walking down an aisle to be married. You could say Jesus the Bridegroom already sees her as His bride. She's just not ready for Him yet. She needs a mother...and a father. She needs support. She needs nurturing and love. She needs to be held and spoken over, healed and prayed for. Sarah is the church. Are we going to give to the church what we are giving to Sarah? Do we love and care for God's children (His church) the same way we love and care for Sarah?

"Be joyful with Jersualem and rejoice for her, all you who love her;
Be exceedingly glad with her, all you who mourn over her,
That you may nurse and be satisfied with her comforting breasts,
That you may suck and be delighted with her bountiful bosom.
For thus says the Lord, Behold, I extend peace to her like a river,
And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream;
And you shall be nursed, you shall be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees.
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;
And shall be comforted in Jerusalem.
Then you shall see this, and your heart shall be glad,
And your bones shall flourish like the new grass;
And the hand of the Lord shall be made known to His servants,
But He shall be indignant toward His enemies." - Isaiah 66

This is our blueprint for loving Sarah, as well as a picture of where the church is going. The church is the Jerusalem of God and we are too. God's church will become the mother He intended it to be, for all of those who need to be comforted and loved. God is giving to back her (the church) identity. And we, in each of our own ways, is learning how to not only see her in the glory that's hers, that she's to be clothed in, but we are learning to be clothed ourselves in the same garments she is to wear. Truly we are the church. We are Sarah. And we are mothers and fathers. In the language of motherhood and/or fatherhood we see a beautiful picture of what love can do. It's a picture worth considering... again.

When you look at Jennifer Dalton right now, there is a revalation of God's heart for the church: for those that have eyes to see and ears to hear. She's a walking prophetic sign of what God is wanting to do with His wounded church. He wants to extend peace to her. He wants her to have exceeding gladness once more, if not for the first time. He wants deep intimate connection with her like a baby has with her mother when she is nursing at the breast. He wants her in His arms, comforted by His provision of life, by His comforting breasts. And He is looking to us to be that comfort, like Jen is to Sarah. We are to mother and father His people with hearts that are full of love, that know what it is to love and care for the broken and hurting.

The doctors have made it clear that Sarah's life is not worth bringing to full term, that it would be better to abort. They say she doesn't have a chance, that there's no hope. All of that has been said. This has all been said of the church in different ways as well.

"Shall I bring to the point of birth, and not give delivery?" Says the Lord.
"Or shall I who gives delivery shut the womb?" Says your God. - Isaiah 66

As Sarah forms in us, God forms in us His heart for His people. We are given the gift of His heart for His kids, for His sons and daughters, for His children, for His babies... like Sarah. With that heart comes a transformation. It's not just her. It's not just the church that undergoes transformation. It comes to us first. Having a revelation that you are to be a father or a mother is one thing, but to actually become the revelation, to become like the Father, or like Jesus, is a whole different thing. We are to be transformed. We are to be enlarged. And it's not just our physical body growing during the pregnancy , it's our hearts as well. Our lives, especially our hearts, are to be filled with love. We are to get healed.

We become pregnant with people's lives... It sounds strange, but it's true. We are to bring forth a people in the likeness of Jesus. We labor with God until Christ is formed in them. We father and mother them. We are to carry the church on our hip. We are to play with her like you do with a child on your knees. "You shall be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees." This is our role to His church, to become that, to be that loving and intimate mother to her. Paul described it in a hundred different ways in all his writings. His heart overflowed with this reality. This is what God formed in Him:

"But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares (cherishes) for her own children.
Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God
but also our own lives (souls) because you had become very dear (beloved) to us."

Then he said a few verses down:

"... just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring EACH ONE OF YOU as a father would his own children, so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

- Paul to the Thessalonians

to be continued...

Climbing Mount Everest

From the Parable of the Sower

Three different kinds of soil/hearts

1. Beside the Road Hearts - "The sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell beside the road; and it was trampled under foot, and the birds of the air ate it up." Jesus explained saying: "And those beside the road are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their heart, so that they may not believe and be saved.

"... some fell beside the road; and it was trampled under foot..." I know for myself I've been in this place. The place where my heart got trampled on. I was hurt. Through the traffic of relationships and the pain it caused me i ended up sidelined. I was put out. I wasn't in the field playing anymore. I was out of the game. I was beside the road sidelined with a damaged heart. And that pain that I experienced and wounding it caused me, just kept getting walked on in some of the new relationships and circumstances that would come my way. They would stomp on the pain and wreck my ability to hold onto the seed God was giving to me. God would give me something but it seemed like it wouldn't sink in like it should. I would see it and want it but i couldn't partake of it. I couldn't "taste and see that the Lord is good." Somehow I felt disqualified and not welcomed in.

Beside the road ground isn't toiled, it's hard. The farmer doesn't touch it. He drives his tractor over it. People walk there. Plants are not meant to grow there because all the care and nurturing is given by the farmer to the field where the harvest will happen. No harvest is expected beside the road. By the roadside seed just sits on top of the soil exposed to the air.

For me I exerienced this roadside place for most of my life. The enemy loves that place. He just sits on the fence next to the field and has a "field day". He swoops in all day long devouring what rightfully should nourshing my soul. He would come in taking from me what God was wanting me to have. I could hear what God was saying and wanting to give, but couldn't really receive it well and keep it like I should. My faith took a hit again and again when I would see the enemy come and steal once more. The hardest part was having to face that disappointment of each time I was let down. Well intentioned people would tell me to just hold on tighter and try harder, have more faith, but that wasn't what i really needed. I needed healing and someone to walk me back into the field, back into my heart so that I could receive the love and the seed God was giving to my life.

Believing can be hard when you seem to have a history of things not working out the way you had hoped they would. God seems to let you down over and over again feeling confused repeatedly by the result of circumstances sometimes ending not in your favor. When your only hope is God, and you know that, and then God seems to fail you... ouch! That hurts. That's hopelessness.

It's been hard at times to see that things could be different, that I could actually see the saving power of God after many failures and loses. Especially when it hits so closely to home, like with family. Family for some of us is like a breeding ground for unbelief. We believe for things year after year with no apparent change. And in some situations it gets even worse. And what we experience there pours over into the rest of life. Our expectations often will reflect what we have most often experienced at home. That's tough to overcome. It's tough to believe when there's a history of loss chasing you down each time you believe for the next challenge of your faith. It's like our histories prophecy our defeat before we can even begin to receive the seeds of hope that God is wanting us to have. That scenario I believe is connected to a wounded and broken heart and spirit, and an unrenewed mind. We can't even begin to see or hear much of anything because our hearts are already filled with our disappointing histories.

When you then see more of "the birds of the air" taking advantage of your wounded condition than God coming to your aide it pushes you into a real conflict of faith. How are we to face each new challenge of our faith when we feel crippled already inside? It's really difficult. That's the way it was in my early years with Jesus. I was a Christian, but I was hurt, lost, crippled and totally confused inside. I couldn't believe for myself to get out of bed on mornings. Living life meant, living with pain. Life beat me up to the point where I was just hoping to survive. Believing for anything beyond that was like facing a Mount Everest without training, without oxygen, without a team... it was impossible. I couldn't even get out of base camp. I would hide in my tent hoping I was really not there at the base of the mountain.

But through that I realized God was penetrating my beliefs. It was imperceptible at first. I couldn't see it. The Holy Spirit was orchestrating a replanting of my heart off the roadside. It was a hidden thing initially, but it gradually came into view. I would have moments of profound revelation as I would encounter God. I would encounter Him as Dad, as Father. And during that I would come to know me as son. There were many things like that. A "Beside the Road Heart" is really an orphan heart. They aren't able to receive the inheritance God is giving them because only sons receive an inheritance. So I was in process becomeing a son in my heart. That was to change everything, which it is and is continueing to. He never took me off the mountain. He just joined me there. And slowly through all the things He does, I began to be less intimadated by the mountain, less afraid. I began to believe for things, and I saw them come to pass. He took me into all kinds of things, and still is. This situation is another one of those things. But now we are climbing the mountain together. I'm no longer sitting down hiding in a tent. We are moving one step at a time.. learning to trust for bigger things, learning to take bigger risks. And it's actually fun. Survival some how has turned into adventure. Loss has transformed into faith. Disappointment has turned into faith. I don't get it, but I'm thankful to be here. I'm thankful for Sarah and her life to Jen and I. I can't wait to see her.

Father has been pouring His love into me going to the hurt, pain and lies buried underneath that hardpan soil that was not allowing the Word of God to have it's true and lasting transformative impact. He was healing me. He still is, but now there is a real and genuine growing sense that I cannot lose... that there is no defeat anymore. It doesn't matter what the enemy tries to take. He cannot take away from me what is fully mine to keep forever. I have God. I have Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit. Jesus said as if speaking through the Prodigal Father, "I am always with you, and all that I have is yours." Where's the defeat in that? There is no defeat for the sons of God. Yes we will suffer loss at times and we will grieve. We will cry. We will not pretend things are okay when they hurt, because things really hurt at times. We will experience difficult things. It's apart of life. BUT, we will not stay there. We can't, because Jesus is there and He's moving us forward. Where we feel alone and left to ourselves, He says: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." We are not alone and when we are ready He will move us on.

In this situation with Sarah we can't be "Beside the Road Hearts" - skeptical, guarding our hearts so we don't get hurt, not believing unless we see evidence of the fact, not wanting to believe too much so as to protect our hearts from being disappointed. If we did that we would lose the seed/bread that God wants to feed our believing hearts with. We would of lost yesterday. But instead we are not in that place. Our hearts are not calloused. We are still believing. We are able by the grace of God to honor Him with believing for the impossible - "For nothing is impossible with God."

We are living for Jesus to say to us: "And blessed is she (us) who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord."

So that we can say of the Lord like Mary: "... be it done to me according to your Word..." and "My soul exalts (makes great!) the Lord, And my Spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. For He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave..."

We are staying here with our hearts, off the road and in the field.

"To you it has been granted..."

From The Parable of the Sower

Part 3
"To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God..."

We've been given permission to understand the secret things hidden in the heart of God. We have been granted to know. We have been given an invitation. We are allowed access by Jesus's own words. We've been given permission to enter in. The interesting thing is our hearts are that place of entry. Our hearts are the place of "knowing" where we receive understanding to all that Jesus is speaking to. It is the place where the kingdom becomes real and living. Our hearts are the point of entry to His Kingdom.

Imagine a gate to a city that you can't enter unless you are given permission. The gates are locked. Imagine this city is built by God and you have been given the right to go through and explore the city or kingdom within. Maybe for much of your life you've dreamed of such a place, and have seen some people enter but many you've seen unable to enter. Jesus said: "But to the rest (that haven't been granted to know mysteries of the Kingdom) it is in parables, in order that seeing they may not see and hearing they may not understand." Seeing they may not see? Hearing they may not understand? What's He talking about?

In Mathew Jesus quotes Isaiah refering to this same reality being mentioned here:

"You will keep on hearing, but will not understand; And you will keep on seeing, but will not perceive..." Why? Why? Why?
"For the heart of this people has become dull, and with their ears they scarcely hear, and they have closed their eyes lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, And understand with their heart and return, and I should heal them." Mathew 13:14-

"...For the heart of this people has become dull?" There's a big piece of the problem - dullness. It's in the heart. The heart is locked up. They cannot see or hear because their hearts are insensitive to the King and His kingdom. They are not hearing His voice. They cannot see Him. All they see is locked gates even though He said your welcome to come in. All they experience is unanswered prayers. They live without vision without hearing. They are blind and deaf to the things of God. They live outside the walls. Or you could say, they live within their own walls unable to get beyond them and through to the kingdom within arms reach.

Jesus said: "The kingdom of God is at hand" It's within arms reach. But do they know that? Some do. Some figure it out. But for many as Jesus said, all they hear is a parable. They don't understand what He's really saying. It just sounds like some wise saying that is best left for someone else to figure out. It's not really spoken to me. What He's saying is for everyone. But for those who will enter in, who want to live in the kingdom it is a key to unlocking the gate. He's saying it for them who want the keys He has to give. The others have already made their choice.

So...It's our choice too. It's up to us. Even as believers, God is still seeking hearts that are like kings who want to understand and enter in. "It's the glory of God to conceal a matter, the glory of kings to search it out." God knows His sons and daughters will eventually hear Him. If not know, hopefully someday. But the issue being pointed out here is the heart. The heart needs to lose it's dullness, it's blindness, it's deafness. For without the heart, "a honest and good heart", they will find themselves unable to keep the seed given to them. It will die sooner or later. And if the seed they've been given doesn't produce because they are continueing in dullness of heart maybe that's why Jesus said: "... but whoever does not have, even what he has shall be taken away from him."

We are the gate of heaven - Jesus in us (Jacob's dream). Through us the kingdom comes to the earth. Many don't think so. They think it's somewhere beyond arms reach. Miracles aren't within reach, they're somewhere else, happening for someone else. They are not here with me. They can't be. Who am I to believe such things, to believe that a miracle could happen through my life, through the words I say? It seems they are unable to find the way to Him, even though within them He resides.

They (sometimes me) walk without understanding, without wisdom because they (sometimes me) have chosen to look the other way - "they (sometimes me) have closed their eyes..." They've made a choice to harden their hearts to God and turn a blind eye away from Him. And because of that choice they do not understand with their heart and return to Him so that they may be healed.

We make choices everyday. In this situation with Sarah the gate to the kingdom is swinging wide open. It's in my heart. I have to make a choice to enter in and live in that place with Him. It's that simple sometimes, not always, but often it's that way. When I enter in with my heart... the mysteries become available to me to know. I'm given permission to explore them and come to new understandings of... well, just about everything. There is no ceiling in God's house, except the one that shelters us and covers us. But that's not a ceiling of limitation. That's a ceiling of protection.

I enter in by faith through hearing God and believing. "Faith comes by hearing." That's the way salvation started. God spoke to us, we believed and we entered in to the realm of the kingdom. As it is in salvation, so it is in each new experience and circumstance of life. The kingdom is present. It is present to explore. And there is lots of rooms to explore and spend time in. "In my Father's house there are many rooms.."

Jen and I right now in one sense are exploring the room of impossibilities and faith. It's very personal right now because it involves Sarah. We are accessing a realm in the kingdom because God said we could. Father stepped into the circumstance with Sarah opening to us His perception of things . With that comes His domain, the Kings dominion. We are now opening our eyes to see what's here. We are now opening our ears to listen to what He's saying. It feels so good to do this. Without it, we would be miserable right now.

So Jesus not only said this next statement He cried out with it. It's in the parable of the sower.

He cried out saying: "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!!!" In other words, "I'm saying something to you... listen. It'll change your life. It'll change your circumstances."

He also said in Mathew: "But blessed are your eyes because they see; and your ears, because they hear." What blesses our ears in this situation? It's not the death sentence we heard. It's not the doctor today whispering to a nurse in the hallway, "Let's wait and see" before checking the heart beat of the baby because He thinks Sarah might not be alive. What blesses our eyes? It's definately not an ultra-sound machine telling us things are wrong with our child. It's obviously none of those things. It's God. It's seeing Him. It's hearing Him. That's why our eyes are blessed right now, and our ears are blessed. It's hearing about His designs in this situation, situations we all can end up facing. He's telling us about her life that's coming. He's showing us through dreams of what her life is going to look like. Seeing and hearing... it's all in the kingdom. Enter through the gates into all that's possible for your life. That's all we are doing. We are taking the hand of Jesus and letting Him give us a tour of what's to come.

It's funny because we are living four months ahead of ourselves right now, even years ahead because He's speaking about Sarah and her life to come, which is beyond this moment. We have fixed our hope in Him with what He's seeing about her life in the future. We could have another ultra-sound right now and it might give us the same results as the earlier test did. But that wouldn't matter much. What's true is what God is seeing and saying. That's a superior reality to this earthly one. The reality of God dictates this one, it supercedes this one. That's why He told us to pray this way: "Our kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." We know this. So we are living here today, but allowing God's perspective, His kingdom perspective to fill our hearts with what His plan is for Sarah in four months from now and years from now. It's a strange way to walk through this, but it's so true. I heard Muhammad Yunus speak the other day about how banks in the west do everything upside down. So when He was questioned why he did the opposite of western banks he said (in essence): "The way western banks do business is like they are standing on their heads, so I turned it all around rightside up so that things would work properly." That's how it feels right now. God is doing that with us. In this situation we are not standing on our heads, God has us standing upright. He's flipped us around to see things the way we should. And in the meantime we can't wait to meet our little Sarah.

Update on Sarah

To our friends -

We wanted to inform everyone of the recent developments concerning Sarah. We first want to say thank you for praying for us and Sarah. We feel the support and we are truly blessed by it all. Thank you for the emails and the phone calls, the cards. We love to hear from people. Don't hesitate to call us. It's great to be able to share what God is doing. So thank you. We feel loved.

So how is Sarah? She is doing great! We had a doctors visit today and the doctor said her little heart is beating at the rate it should be. He said with surprise: "There's a lot of momentum in this child!" Praise God for that! So that is good to hear. We are not suprised. We told him that there's a lot of prayer going out for her.

Jen is beginning to put on weight which hasn't been the case for the last so many months, so that's good. The growth of her uterus is where it should be. Jen's heart and mind are also in a most amazing place. I'm so proud of her in how she's been responding to all of this. It's been a great encouragement to me.

So we are standing on what God has been speaking to us. We feel pregnant with promise. I've been keeping an online journal that people are welcome to look in on if they would like to. I've been writing on there some of things we have been hearing from Jesus concerning this situation with Sarah. We've been learning a lot through all of this. What we began experiencing from the Father that following day after receiving the news about Sarah has continued to grow deeper and stronger. We feel His wonderful favor and joy on our lives right now. We really are overwhelmed on days with His goodness. We feel the support of our praying friends and family. And we feel that there is something from God for all of us in this situation. We so want to share what we are coming to know in this with all of you. So the blog/journal is apart of sharing what we are experiencing so people that aren't living here with us can tune in and see what God is doing. The journey is all about Him. I've also posted some pictures that my sister Laura has been put together with the scriptures that God's been speaking to us through. She's an incredible artist and lover of God and lover of all of His creations. Most all the photos she has taken some with her beautiful black horses.

The address for the blog is: jenniferjdalton.blogspot.com

The other event that's significant to mention is that a couple days following the news of Sarah's condition our landlords came by the house giving us a thirty day notice to get out of our cabin. They have some aversion to children for when they found out we were pregnant a couple of months ago, they asked us to leave the cabin before giving birth. So we moved out the next week after they came by with the notice.

So now we are living in a back mother-in-law unit that our friends Dave and Bunny Koppa have made available to us. They have been a true blessing, and our living situation right now is very comfortable. We love being here with them. It's been a real gift in the midst of this. So we are thankful to be here.

Other than that we are learning about what impossible situations mean to God, and how much He loves them. So if you feel you are facing impossibilities, know that there is a God who relishes in being welcomed into situations that seem at the edge of hope. He is a miracle working God with immeasureable amounts of joy. We are standing in that wonderful current drinking in His goodness. Thank you again for praying for us. Bless you.

Joseph and Jennifer

God is Planting Redwood Trees in the Desert

From the Parable of the Sower

Part 2
Jesus shares in the story of the Sower that there are different kinds of soil. He clues us into what those different kinds of soil are when He says:

"And the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart..."

The soil represents different kinds of hearts. We know that this is one type of soil He calls good - "an honest and good heart". Everyone wants to be spoken of in that way. In the parable Jesus describes three other kinds of soil, or conditions of the heart. I'm seeing for ourselves through this parable different ways of responding to the present circumstances. It's like God is highlighting this passage to illuminate what He is wanting for us... as well as what He is hoping we will avoid.

We know what happens to the "honest and good heart". It says: "And the other seed fell into the good soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times and great." It also says of these people: "And the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance."

As I understand it, it's saying that those who hear "the word" of God and hold on to it, believing, trusting , allowing themselves to be changed, to grow up, so as to produce the fruit of mature love, faith, hope etc.., that persevere, that are steadfast in their believing, that love the truth and understand and live in the goodness of God, will see a harvest of fruit, "a crop a hundred times as great." In other words they will increase. The blessing in their lives will multiply. The harvest in their lives will be enlarged.

I feel like God is saying this situation with Sarah is to multiply blessing in our lives. We are in a season of multiplication. God wants to use this situation with Sarah to bring increase to us, to enlarge our hearts. He is wanting to mature our love, to grow us up into the things of God. He wants us to be fruitful and to multiply. Having a child is multiplication. What more demonstrates fruitfulness than having children? This fruitfulness is not limited to just Sarah, though that is a major part of it. The fruitfulness I feel He's speaking about is our lives, and the lives of our friends and family. It's a fruitfulness that is to touch all aspects of the way we live and approach God, His Kingdom, and the world we live in. God wants to multiply His goodness and life in us through this circumstance we are facing with Sarah. Our hearts are being enlarged through His word as it finds root in us, as it grows and matures insides us, as it accomplishes all that it was sent forth to succeed in.

Listen to Isaiah:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth, and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall my word be which goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." - 55: 8-11

We are learning again in this situation that the way God thinks about things is different than we do. We are learning that God wants to enlarge our hearts and bring increase, multiplying His goodness in our life through "a way" we would never have chosen. I love that He says; "It (His word) will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it." We are not to be left empty. If God is saying His Word won't return to Him empty, why should we worry that it might return to Him empty through our lives. We shouldn't... we should trust. God's desire is to be accomplished and the word is to succeed. He sent it with real intent and purpose and it won't return to Him without doing that.

God is saying to us, "let your meditation be on this, that I'm successful in all that I do. I accomplish what I desire. My words are like the rain and the snow coming down upon the earth, upon the fields of your heart, upon your circumstances, causing the seeds in your life that I've planted there to bear and sprout life. What I'm doing in you will furnish for you a multiplication of that seed. I'm producing in you a harvest of life."

I feel God is strengthening us in who He is in our lives through this circumstance. He's not just adding to us one life in Sarah, but telling us that through Him as He is giving to us Sarah that our lives in God are in a season of multiplication, especially as it relates to Joy, peace, rejoicing and laughter. Listen to the verse that follows the one above:

"FOR (connecting word) you will go out with joy, and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thorn bush the cypress will come up; and instead of the nettle the myrtle will come up; and it will be a transformation of the desert as a memorial (a name) to the Lord, for an everlasting sign which will not be cut off."

The Lord keeps emphasizing to us the importance of joy. Here it's repeated again. We are being led forth with peace. We are going out with joy. Through this circumstance with Sarah God is giving to us His joy and peace, His laughter and rejoicing. I feel we can pray this over this situation. We will not have thorn bushes. We will not have nettles growing here. We will see growing in us, in this situation, trees of the Lord - the cypress and the myrtle. We are praying for the desert, where ever we find them in our lives to become alters of worship and praise, so as to bring glory to God. They are to be testimonies of His name, of who He is. In the most difficult places, in what seems like impossible circumstances where only arid plants live, myrtles and cypresses are being planted by God. Plants that need lots of water to thrive in. In other words, God is planting redwood trees in the desert. That's what we are praying for. Imagine what that will speak of His name then.



I'll cover the other heart conditions in Part 3

Pregnant with Promise...

"And other seed fell among the good soil..."

From the Parable of the Sower LK 8:4-21 (read first)

PART 1
"The sower went out to sow his seed..." God is a farmer... yes it's true, with the intent of reaping a harvest. He is sowing seed into our lives to reap a harvest from our lives. That harvest is happening and is going to happen. Right now He is sowing his seed. He is speaking His words to us, to our hearts, to all those who have ears to hear. We are to be the ones who have ears to hear. His desire is that we would be the ones with good soil for his words to be planted in. Through this planting of His words we are to grow up into the things of God and His kingdom. God wants to multiply the harvest in us and around us. Having relationship with Him, the Word of God, allows this to happen.

"And other seed fell into the good soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times as great.." "..He who has ears to hear, let him hear." "...To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is in parables.."

We are the soil that the "other seed fell INTO." God is speaking to us and sharing with us His perspective. Those words are speaking of things happening now and they are speaking of things yet to unfold. In our circumstances they are words of promise, speaking to us of unseen things yet to manifest and be revealed. They exist in God, in Heaven already, but they are yet to be released here on earth. That happens through our faith as we listen. What we hear impregnates us with promise. The words God speaks are to form in us an "... an honest and good heart..." Our faith releases the growth God is giving to us. With our "honest and good heart" "..(we) hold it fast and bear fruit with perseverance..." so that we see those "words" produce what God said they would.

Our growth is connected to believing in those living seeds(words). They will take root in us, allowing the new shoots of life to reach up and come forth out of hidden places into the light, so that a harvest, a harvest of fruitfulness, can happen. God is creating something out of nothing. He sees the plant and/or tree in the seed. He sees the fruit buried in the earth. He sees the light in the darkness. He sees the harvest in the bag of seeds. He sees what is hidden in us and knows exactly what is needed to bring it to fruition. He is patient. He is not slow. He is speaking in the language of agriculture for a reason. He knows what is necessary to produce a harvest. You have to wait like a farmer does. First things first and that first thing is to sow the seed (Word). Such a small thing at first. You don't see evidence of anything when the seed is sown in a field. All you see is dirt. That's all that is visible. You can stand at the edge of the field and look down the rows and see no evidence of life. But underground, underneath the view of the naked eye, something is beginning to happen. Life is breaking forth as the husk of the seeds are broken. Within us it's the same. You see nothing at first. It's all buried in our hearts. The words of God are pushed into the good soil of our hearts into what God calls our, "honest and good heart." And then with patience and perseverance we begin to see the words of God manifest. And the fields begin to grow upward towards the harvest they are meant to give.

"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, in order that those who come in may see the light." For nothing is hidden that shall not become evident, nor anything secret that shall not be known and come to light. THEREFORE (emphasis added) take care how you listen..."

The things God is speaking prophetically to us in our hearts, in the hidden place of our prayer closet, so to speak, will become evident, will be made known. God is speaking prophetically in secret with the intent of revealing what He has spoken to us in secret. Why? "... in order that those who come in may see the light." That light reveals His nature, it's His glory. God is going to be glorified through our circumstances. So He lets us in on His secrets so we know what's going to happen, what we need to do and how we need to handle ourselves. There's more to it than that of course, but the idea is, God is into revealing Himself to people. He wants to take hold of our lives and our circumstances, put His seed (Word), His prophetic revelation into our hearts so as develop in us faith, friendship, relationship, loving partnership in the unfolding of His Kingdom on the earth. To us that is happiness, that is joy and laughter. It is apart of what we rejoice about. This is what produces gladness of heart and fullness of joy. This is to us eternal life, Kingdom life. For what He has sown and sows into us prophetically is of utmost importance. This is what becomes evident and is made known to "those that come in". There is a revelation of God, a revealing of who God really is through the fields of our life and circumstances, especially through the impossibilities of our situations that really gives to God what He's looking for. We are to be burning lamps of the Glory of God so that those who come in, whoever they may be, will see the light. The seeds that we are given are light. They are to illuminate the world once they come to full maturity, to the full maturity of love, knowing who God is, knowing who we are.

The Light of Faith

".. a well-built house.."

"Everyone who comes to Me, and hears My words, and acts upon them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug and went deep and laid a foundation upon the rock; and when a flood rose, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built." luke 6:47,48

We've been hearing God speak to us clearly from this passage. It's been foundational for us over the last couple of weeks. I wrote this in my journal the week we received the news about Sarah.

"Everyone..." - no one is excluded. There isn't a person in any kind of circumstance that disqualifies them from connecting to God. There's only one condition placed on us. You have to come to God - "Everyone who comes to Me..."

After coming to God, you then have to listen. You simply need to have a listening heart so you can, "..hear my words..." Incline your ear to hear what He has to say. (God speaking) I want to speak to you. I want to be heard. What I have to say changes things. The entrance of my words brings light. My light allows you to see. It allows you to understand. It allows you to respond to me and what I'm doing. The actions that you then take will move mountains. You can act in confidence and trust in my perfect design for the circumstances because I've told you before you move. Let the circumstandces unfold without trying to control them. Allow my design to override all others as you respond to Me.

There is a house being established by God. God wants us to dig, to go deep, so He can establish strong and true foundations in us. He wants us to dig past what is earthly, what is familiar, past what we think we know to do. We are digging deeper to what is solid, to what is eternal. Our digging is after the heart of God, It's a pursuit for the intimate places of God's heart. There is a revelation of love, of the heart, of community life, of fellowship, of the Kingdom of God that we are digging to find. In the place of prayer, worship, and in the place of heart to heart connected living we are seeking a deeper understanding and greater expression of love and joy that God wants to give to us.

This is the house being built. It's a well-built house capable of withstanding any flood, storm or tempest that may come. It's a house that cannot be shaken. In this midst of difficult times, where the odds are stacked against us, and things seem impossible, we find ourselves rejoicing and celebrating the goodness of God, and the power of the Most High God to bring about His kindom and His purposes. We can stand without intimidation and fear, not fearing loss, but anxiously awaiting what God wants to give. God is saying we get to increase when it appears that the battle seems lost. In other words what God is doing is our focus, not what the enemy is doing, and out of that focus, we get to see the Kingdom of God bring about It's justice in the circumstances we face.

Deliverance

Incomprehensible Peace...

"honor me..." - God

"Honor me..." - God

Our faith is to honor God. I'm learning through this experience with Sarah that God gives us opportunity to honor Him by the things we face. So obvious to say that, but when it comes to really difficult things, things that have the impossible written into them, it's sometimes easier to concede defeat before even beginning the good fight of faith. I think we often don't even enter the playing field for fear of disappointment awaiting us. Some don't outwardly say that, but in their hearts they've all but given up already. At the word of bad news, they prepare for loss. Who knows why. It might be that so many defeats already have gotten the best of them, so what's the point in hoping again. But I believe there is a reason to hope in the most difficult of circumstances. There is something special to circumstances that test your faith. I feel there is something important for us to understand in this situation with Sarah, one like many that people face everyday. For they will come to us all... and our response is paramount to all that our lives are to be about.

Impossibilities afford to us an opportunity for the nature of God to be revealed. Without them we would not see the different faces of Jesus that He wants us to see. God is a multi-talented personality with outrageous abilities and capacities. His creative instincts are immeasureable and without limit. He can take dust, breathe on it and make it sing like a lark. He can create oceans and fill it with life. What can He not do? So it is in human affairs. He raises the dead when there is no longer chance for life to continue. I feel He wants to reveal Himself and be known to people. He doesn't want to just be read about or known theologically. He doesn't want to be known only in the pages of a book. There's more and His revealing is to be glorious. It's to happen all the time -daily... because that revealing changes lives. It changes everything when He is allowed to be central to our lives and circumstances. I mean really central, where His perspective effects our attitudes, thoughts and actions.

He gave Sarah to us and his longing to be central in this circumstance is clearly felt. He is recreating it to fit His designs, so that we will be recreated by the impact of his perfect will. Sarah has come in a package yet unfinished or broken. To the medical world she is an impossibility. She is not made to live. God stands in the wings if you will and looks to us for a response. He looks to be placed in the middle. He understands our delima and what we are facing. And still He looks for our response. He looks inside us to see what we believe. He listens to how we pray, and what we think about. Our response means so much, if not everything. He has chosen things to be that way. He has allowed so much to depend on our response. Why else would He say: "The power of life and death is in the tongue..?" If you are speaking... then whose got the power? There is a lover in God who looks lovingly at us, wanting to see one of his beloved ones responding to life's problems in the true knowledge of God, expectantly awaiting and knowing the difference He will make in the situation. He's concerned about outcomes... but not only that. He's concerned about the process and our proximity to Him - to the truth, to the life in Him. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying, this is not a test to see how well we perform. Responding isn't about performance. God judging how well we do. I feel like He's looking to our hearts simply wanting us to know Him intimately, and to be free. He wants life for us when death is being spoken. He wants love for us when noone is loving us. He wants us to not feel alone when we feel like there's no chance we can move the mountain we are facing.

We know the power ultimately starts and ends with God, but we play a role in the unfolding drama and our response is meant to honor God. I've been leaning into understanding what it means to live in this situation in the identity of God honoring Him. In other words, who is God to us in this situation and what does He want to do here? I felt a couple of days ago He shared with me that this situation with Sarah is an opportunity intended by God to reveal Himself, and not only do that, but glorify Himself through it. He then began to talk to me about my response... When I first heard the news about Sarah, Jen and I were rocked. We were taken low by the news. And I guess that's expected and normal. Most people would experience the same. He then began to talk to us about the situation and our hearts began to come back up. We began filling with hope. And now our confidence is secure in the power of God and His ability to take this impossible situation and turn it into something glorious. The Bible is full of stories just like that. So why not this situation?

What He said yesterday impacted me concerning my faith. He said in essence, I'm looking for my sons and my daughters to respond with excitement when they are faced with the impossible. I want them to get excited because the revealing of my nature, of what I'm like, is connected to it. He was saying He wants me to get used to living in impossible circumstances, that in truth, this is the normal Christian life. A life of miracles, both small and big, is the normal Christian life. The faith that Jen and I have in this situation should be normal. It shouldn't suprise people at all. To believe for Sarah's perfect health and healing should be expected, especially since He is who He is. I felt Him wanting me to believe naturally for such a thing to happen in her life, like He had wished that would of been my first response instead of despair. He understands my intitial reaction, and He's not upset with it. I can feel now though, He wants to teach me how to respond differently from now on.

He then began to show me how this circumstance was reawakening me to the way I should always be living. And that I should not stop here, but that there is so much more to living by faith than hoping for the occasional miracle. More than even miracels are to be normal, but a world of relationship is found ahead. The reason he wanted my response to be full of hope instead of despair when I first heard the news about Sarah was because the way I respond is directly connected to what I believe about Him and experience in relationship with Him everyday. You could say it reveals how close I really am with Him in this area of my life. It's telling of what I really think about God and how much I know Him - all of these things being super important to Him. They are important to me too. But I didn't fully grasp what significance it has to so many things of my life. For one, my life that He has been leading me to live will not happen unless I abandon myself to a lifestyle of living in the impossible. As crazy as that sounds, I think it's true. I think it's not just true of me, but of many of us.

So I've noticed in one way how soft I have been living. Soft meaning, not challenged in my faith like I once was, not believing for enough, not really allowing for impossibilities to be present as much as they should be in my life. One of the most essential elements to our relationship with God is our faith. If all that I'm doing in life is freely accessible to me without faith, what kind of life am I really living? It says: "without faith, it is impossible to please God." I was seeing that my life is to not only have impossibilities present in it, but it's actually vitally necessary for me to have them if I am to fulfill all that my is meant to be about. Without impossibilities our lives lose a big piece of what our life is to witness to. We need impossibilities so that the miraculous can happen, so that the nature of God can be revealed, so that God is glorified, so that people can see, know and come to the beautiful God who loves them deeply. Our lives are meant to be all about honor... and that honor is to Him. "... all praise, and all honor and glory unto you!"

These circumstances, like this one with Sarah, are all about Him. We are all apart of the story, but all arrows are pointing to one person. We are given the privalage, which is great, to be apart of lovingly directing people's attention to the beauty of a God who wants to disclose Himself, become naked to the humanity that He has created and loves. For within these kinds of circumstances a wonderful gift is offered to the seeing and hearing heart. That gift and/or gifts will be unwrapped inside hearts like yours and mine as we step to the side and allow Himself to take center stage. Hope is a gift being given here. Life is another one. Laughter is being given. Peace like a river is a real thing... and is pouring into our hearts and others. Confidence in the goodness of God is on the table. People can take of that bread and get full. There is so many things being given, all because God is taking opportunity with an impossible situation the requires an absolute miracle. Before the miracle itself happens, before we know whether or not the death sentence will prevail (which it won't), life is happening. The unshakeable God with His unshakeable Kingdom is unmoved by the flood of gross news. And those He calls His own are finding a solid place to stand. There is a sure foundation under us. And in the waves of destruction that came to wash us out to sea, a well-built house is going up instead (Luke 6) The torrent of destruction isn't taking us out. Our footings are not giving way. No. Instead we are increasing in strength trusting in the unfailing goodness and unchanging nature of a miracle working God. Thank you Jesus! This is for real. We are not masking secret pain and despair. We are not in denial. We are not on the back foot. We are watching God establish His house in our hearts that will be unto others what we have always wanted: A place of refuge and love where healing is accessible, God is true, and hope is ever alive.

A Supernatural Child

1-15-08

On this morning while Jen was reading her Bible three folded pieces of paper fell out of the back of her Bible while sitting in the sun outside on the back patio. She didn't remember ever having read them. But she noticed on the date it was written by me(Joseph) about a year and a half ago. She showed them to me and after reading them I started to understand better what they were speaking to. It was something I felt the Lord speaking to me back then, but I didn't fully understand all that it meant. At the time when they were written, it seemed like this area of the coast in Santa Barbara was ripe for something to happen. That God had an intentional design and purpose for this area and that was soon about to unfold. It felt like the spiritual atmosphere was pregnant with this plan and there was revelation to receive concerning it. God wanted to do something different and unique in this part of the world. So I wrote down at that time just some of the things I felt he was sharing. I'm unsure of all that it means, but I find an interesting connection to what is written then to what is happening now with God, Jen and I and Sarah. This is what is written on those pieces of paper:

Luke 1(paraphrase with other scriptures and thoughts added)
"Angel sent from God", "and coming in... God/Angel (spoke to her) said to her..." "to a virgin" (the pure in heart shall see God)
(favor) - "...the Lord is with you" "found favor with God." "... you will conceive in your womb..."

Question from Mary: "how can this be since I am a virgin?" - Impossible to have a child
Mary's question is our question. We doubt. We see our lack. We see our inabilities. We see the impossibility of the situation.

Answer to Mary: "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you;
Mary's answer is our answer. God comes upon us. The power of the Most High overshadows us and brings forth what He wants to happen.

Then(speaking of Elizabeth) "She who is called barren is in her sixth month" - barren, old age, no chance to have a baby
NOTE: Jen is in her sixth month and they are telling her there is no chance of having a baby.

Angel says: "FOR NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD."

In verse 1:39 Two mothers with child(pregnant) come together - now filled with Spirit when coming together.


God is looking for a virgin, in other words, one without guile, pure in heart. One whose motivations are pure, not self-seeking, not after ones own gain, profit or comfort, but after God's own heart, his kingdom and purposes, one whose willing to BELIEVE IN THE IMPOSSIBLE, who is humble and not proud in the thoughts of their heart, who fears God, who isn't deluded by their own self-importance.

God will send to us, will visit us. He will "come in" and speak to us His Spirit will overshadow us. His power will come upon us and will impregnate our own hearts and spirits with a seed or seeds(baby) from Heaven. It will be a new life, a new thing. We will CONCEIVE THIS BABY ON THE INSIDE AND NURTURE IT BEFORE GIVING BIRTH TO IT. He will share with us a vision and as we continually come together we will be filled with Spirit. And we will "stay on together" like Mary did with Elizabeth. We will be together bfore God, in relationship UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN.

For God to establish something significant in this area it will have to be born in God. It will have to be A SUPERNATURAL CHILD, WITH THE DNA FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE. - "John the Baptist said, A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from Heaven."

Natural thinging will not suffice. Natural thinking will leave it earthbound. Everything satrted in natural thinking(as good ideas) will wither like the flower of the field. It will be here today gone tomorow. GOD IS LOOKING TO BIRTH ETERNITY IN OUR HEARTS and wants to establish us in a new place in the spirit, in a place of supernatural vision and prophetic revelation. For when we take hold of that, or when we become impregnated with what is filling God's heart (or is presently formed in His heart), WE ARE GIVEN SOMETHING UNSHAKEABLE, IMMOVABLE, SOLID THAT CAN WEATHER STORMS.

A picture of that unshakeable kingdom as it comes to shake the kingdoms of darkness is:

The birth of jesus in a stable.


The unshakeable kingdom will begin to take root in us as it relates to Santa Barbara and this area. We will then stay on together until it is birthed in the natural.

"For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God, For He gives the Spirit without measure."

"...God has sent.." - Being sent, called, chosen for a particular task, position, or whatever - anoints you to carry out what is needed for the situation. Heaven's resources are available to you to be successful, but it is God who sends, not us, not our knowledge, or experience, status, or whatever. We don't self-appoint ourselves.

"... For He gives the Spirit without measure." THis is what we need and are to receive. We are to be filled (overflowing) like Mary and Elizabeth experienced before their babies wer born.

KEY: John 3:6 "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is Spirit."

This was written in June of 2006. Jen is due to have Sarah Elizabeth in June of 2008. We are believing for the supernatural child with the DNA for the impossible. The filling of the Spirit is like unto the experience of Joy, and the experience of laughter. God is speaking to us prophetically and giving to us supernatural vision for the journey. Thank you God.

Sarah said, "God has made laughter for me

1-14-08
Before going surfing the other day, our friend Leslie brought a pink piece of paper out of the nearby prayer shed with this verse written on it. I immediately felt the Spirit of God was on those words wanting to say something to us. The following morning I wrote the verse down in my journal and began to write down what the Holy Spirit was saying. It's as follows:

"And Sarah said, "God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh with me."

I feel this passage is speaks to the essential experience of all that is happening right now with Sarah. She is our gift of laughter. We are being given laughter out of the creative resource in God. He is giving us joy in the midst of impossible circumstances. He is giving to us laughter. We are all laughing with God and with Sarah. She is a gift of laughter and joy. And for the next few months laughter is to mark this season of our lives. She will make us laugh today, tomorow and years to come. God is saying: "Sarah is happy and laughing... and we can join her and rejoice in this circumstance. There is a stream of rejoicing flowing through our lives and all who come into contact with this situation concerning Sarah will be touched by joy and laughter. All they have to do is open their hearts to the surpassing goodness of Jesus and to the glad God who dances over us. The laughing God who laughs at his enemies, and laughs in the face of trouble is releasing to us springs of living water to drink from. He is filling us with joy, and gladness of heart.

(God talking)
Let Laughter be your meditation. Consider my laughter. See me laughing and enjoying Sarah. Let yourself move to a place of understanding my laughter for your life. There is a gift of laughter for you here. Sarah is laughing with me. You can too. Your lives are to follow in the steps of my laughter and joy. I am a happy God, full of laughter. I rejoice over you . I'm rejoicing over Sarah - I'm laughing. Laugh with me all the way to her birth... and then keep laughing. My laughter is contagious - it's to spread. My laughter is effective warfare. It's protective against fear. It's pushes away discouragement. it brings the heart back to a place of open embrace and accessibility. Laughter will take you into my world and my kingdom. I'm laughing all the time. I want you to enjoy me and enjoy yourself. Laugh your way through this. I will help you. laughing is an expression of trust, that you are going to be okay. Laughing is an axpression of my peace that is beyond understanding. This situation is laughable. Laughing will help you forget what the enemy is doing and will bring you face to face with me.

God begins to speak 1-08-08

All of the following we heard the morning following the news of the ultra-sound. These words of hope and joy have been the initial inspiration for taking the journey that we are now on. I've added the phrases (God talking) and (Me talking) to clarify the text and whose speaking. I wrote down the things I felt God was speaking to us. It isn't to say that these are the exact words of God. It's a written understanding of subjective impressions that we received while in prayer - all of which are prayed through and measured against the truth of the written Word. These are copied from my journal. We are thinking about sharing the journal and what we've been hearing from God each day of the journey as it relates to Sarah...

(God talking)
Concerning Sarah Elizabeth Dalton -
Thankfulness is key. Stay thankful. Abide in it. Keep your heart there... out of thankfulness will flow all that I want to give. Thankfulness is a foundation stone for this time (".. he is like a man building a house, who dug and went deep and laid a foundation..." Lk 6). Thankfulness will open to you all that I want to bless you with. There is treasure in store for your hearts in this.

"The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good...for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart." Lk 6

"...which fills his heart." I am filling your heart with treasure. Thankfulness in your hearts is a receiving dock for my treasures, so that I may fill you. Your mouths will then speak the things that fill your heart from Me. Your mouths will speak the things of heaven that have come to abide in your hearts.

Sarah Elizabeth is a gift. She is a gift to you from myself. The princess with the nations written on her heart (Sarah) who has made me her vow (Elizabeth). My precious little girl that I've trusted into your care. Let your hearts open fully to the gift of her life. For if you do, the impact will reach to the ends of your life.

(Me talking)
God is building a house. "... a well-built house.." Lk 6:48 This house is one of love. It is one of love for the broken and the lame. He is forming a heart in us for the ones who don't have all of theirs, or who have lost their hearts due to pain, hurt or damage. It's a house to withstand floods and torrents whose strength is not found in human capacities, but whose strength is found in the person of God, in the fullness of his Spirit, where all things are subject to the goodness of God.

(God talking)
You are subjects of my goodness. You can live subject to goodness, not evil, not disappointment, nor loss, nor pain. You can live expectantly under my faithfulness to your life. Fear not the things that threaten your peace, your security and the promises I have made you. I will bear you up on my knee, on the wings of eagles... so that you will inherit my goodness and not just receive it occasionally. This situation is to engulf you in a flood of goodness. The enemy wants to engulf you in distress and worry. He wants to tear your house down. He wants you to build without foundations (Lk 6). Fear will do this to you. But I've told you to "fear not!" for I am with you. Anything is possible when I am there. This is about so much more than survival or the loss of a dream. See it differently. See it as I see it. See it as a fulfillment of dreams. "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. I am not going to harm you." And I will not let the plans of the enemy succeed. Like broken arrows they will fail. Like a broken bow, I will untie all the efforts to destroy you. Live where I live and you will see a day dawning that will have no end. I'm building a house to withstand the worst of storms. I'm raising you up...

Inside Jennifer is the nations of the earth.

I'm building a house that the torrent cannot shake.
"... and when the flood rose, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been wll built."

(me talking)
God brings a shaking to bring down what is not built by him.
The enemy brings a shaking so that God can approve and establish that which is built properly by Him.

We can hold the gift of God close to our hearts without fear of losing it. Whether things live or die makes no difference, loving is never wrong.

Our starting place is not defeat, but is victory. We have already won the race, that's why we can compete without fear of losing. We've won. So we don't have to hold on tightly. We can love freely and trust the outcome to God. Our job is to join the race and run as a winner. (God talking now) "There is no shame here. There is nothing to hide. Do not be ashamed of this little girl. Own her as your own. She is yours. She belongs to you. Do not reject her... receive her. Love her as your daughter. Love her without reservation. Love her as my own daughter. For she is from me.

(God talking)
My kindness I want to release through you. There is a kindness, a compassion, a bountiful stream I'm releasing through your innermost beings at this time. It's a river of love for people. It flows from where Sarah Elizabeth lies. It's a part of her gift to you. She will give you a deeper love for others. That's a part of her personality - the gift of her life. Sarah is a lover of people. She is a loving light.

Initial Shock Wave...

To all our friends...

Hello to everyone. Jen and I wanted to inform you of the recent developments taking place in our lives right now. Most of you know we are expecting our first child somewhere around the end of May. We are presently entering our sixth month and had our first ultra-sound on Monday to find out the sex of our child. During the ultra-sound, the doctor gave us some shocking news. Here is the news from the doctors perspective(as they understand it):

Our child supposedly has what is called Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13, both fatal diseases. These are basically development problems caused by an extra chromosome at the point of conception. The problem is not caused by genetics, diet or anything related to our lives. It's a fluke thing that happens rarely and no one is to blame for it.

This is generally what happens: When the cells begin multiplying at the beginning of development the extra genetic material causes imperfect forming of the baby. Things get mixed up and the baby can have problems from top to bottom. It can affect all the internal organs, the brain, the heart and the extremities. They are saying our child is without major valves in the heart. The brain has severe hydrocephalus as well. We don't know in detail the extent of the problems as they see it, and we don't need to know. We know enough. Doctors predict she will most likely die in utero. If by chance she does make it to birth, she would not have the ability to survive without the support of Jen's body. So in essence she has been given a
death sentence.

As difficult as that is to say, it is not not the last word on the situation. God will have the last word on her life. Let us first tell
you what our little princess's name is: her name is Sarah Elizabeth Dalton. Jen has had numerous dreams about her, even before we got pregnant, and it seems this is the name God has given her.

We want to say, we are incredibly thankful for the gift of her life. We love our little Sarah and we are enjoying each day we have with her. We are greatly encouraged by the goodness of God in this situation and can honestly say, in spite of incredible odds stacked against us, we are walking in a beautiful joy and peace and hope that is truly supernatural. We are not down, or depressed or overwhelmed by the circumstances, we're actually really encouraged. We are enjoying God and Sarah in the midst of this, and we plan on doing so all the way to her first breath of life. We feel she is going to be fine, and we are resolved to keep our eyes and hearts fixed on what God is doing.

We must say the first few days were rough and terribly difficult to handle, but upon going to our Father and talking with him about Sarah, everything has changed. God is speaking to us and we are listening. He is asking us to simply take one day at a time and trust him for the outcome of her life. He is speaking life over her and so we are too. We are believing him for a miraculous turn around for Sarah. We are believing what He has to say about her life and not what the doctors are predicting.

There is a real, tangible, loving grace wrapped around us, causing us to believe everything is going to be alright. We know either way she will be born into our arms or into the arms of God, and we are at peace with whatever God decides. Please do not feel sorry for us or feel like we are to be pitied. Please don't. God has favored us in this situation and we are truly thankful to be given Sarah. We love her and feel that in this situation we are going to be blessed beyond what we could ask or think. His promises are true and we are seeing the goodness of God more alive than ever. Join with us in celebrating her life and celebrating the goodness of God.

We believe He has plans for her to come into our arms whole and perfectly healthy as God would intend her to be. Our faith is for healing. This is our appeal to you: to join us in fighting for life and for all that is good. Our starting place for taking this journey is knowing that we're already victorious. We have already won this race and that's why we are able to run it. God will not fail. Love never fails. Thank you for caring and thank you for praying. We are receiving from your prayers a bounty of treasure. Thank you so much and please be in touch, we would love to hear from you.

Take care,

Joseph and Jennifer (and Sarah Elizabeth)