Reed Baskets...

"She (moses' mother) got him a papyrus reed basket and covered it over with tar and pitch. Then she put the child into it, and set it among the reeds by the bank of the Nile." Exodus 2

A few days ago Father showed me this basket of tar and pitch. I was praying... waiting... listening, as you do, and this picture, in the spirit, came into view. I saw this reed basket floating on the water. I saw it set among the reeds, gently moving to the ripples in the water as they rolled through the long stems of the plants. And then it was like this understanding started to unfold inside me as I considered what I was seeing. I felt God saying:

"Place Sarah there. . ."
"Where Father? . . ."
"Place Sarah in there."

There came a time for even the mother of Moses to step into abandoned trust, possibly deeper than she had ever known. In her situation there was nothing left for her to do to help her son. All the options had been exhausted. She had kept Moses from death for three months. But then it says, "... when she could hide him no longer...", she built a basket to place her son in. Imagine doing this with your child, placing him/her in a basket on a river among the reeds... How desperate must she had been to do that. It seems Moses' mother didn't know what was going to happen to Moses. Her child had a destiny, but early on it was weighing in the balance. They didn't know what was going to happen to him. All it says is that, "... his sister stood at a distance to find out what would happen to him." Imagine the powerlessness she must of felt... unbelievable.

Jen and I know what this feels like. There's nothing more we can do to keep Sarah from all the trouble and/or death that's being spoken over her. We don't agree with that outcome... but that's where things are going if we don't see God's intervention, for her condition has been clearly stated to us by the doctors who have looked at her. There's no other option for us, for her, except for the power of God to come and be revealed.

So like Moses' mother we are now building our reed basket. We are trusting God once again for the outcome of her life. We are so thankful to be able to do that because there is no better or safer place to put her in. It's where we've been... it's just now the complexity of the problem is increasing. I can't go into here. But we have decisions to make that are not easy... Therefore we are building our "reed boat" trusting her into the arms of God.

The faithfulness of God finds us when we are weak. Jen and I are in a place of weakness. And He is finding us everyday. We are not strong and hear Him telling us again, "His power(strength) is perfected in our weakness." So we've been finding that our strength is really in the happy countenance of Jesus - in His perspective, in His irrepressible joyfulness. It's been securing us in love so far as we have been facing things with Sarah. Since the diagnosis of Sarah's condition, joy and laughter has been a present strength in our hearts and lives. We are keeping ourselves there as much as we can. Things can get too serious too fast. We're doing our best not to move from this place of joy... but sometimes it's not easy - pray for us. We know how unable we are to change things for her without Him. The situation is impossible... there is nearly nothing we can do fix it. But these impossibilities are subject to the Word of God. And we are going to keep speaking the Word of God over her until the Word becomes flesh - that's the plan.

Thankfully we have felt His manifest goodness surrounding us. It's been tangible. And so many people have represented to us how wonderful He is. We've felt people's care for us. We see His face in all of you. We've seen Him reveal His heart in all the countless ways people have opened to us in kindness and compassion. All of it is treasured in our hearts. We are so thankful for all of it. We are so thankful for all the love you've shown us.

But right now it's been a rough two weeks and we feel the toll that it's taken on our hearts. We have felt our hearts hurt with the gravity of all that could go wrong. Doctor visits are difficult and becoming even more difficult. The reality of what could happen to Sarah is sometimes difficult not to feel in our hearts. We feel the pressure building and we have decisions to make.

An added stress to our situation is that we are still unable to find a place to live. We didn't get the rental we were hoping for - that's okay, but it would be great to get into a place soon. June third is our due date - not too far away. Where we are staying now is a real gift to us. We have no complaints whatsoever, but we've felt is was temporary and we don't want to over stay our welcome. We want to be in the place He has for us. And right now, it's here, and we are thankful for that - we truly are. We are loved here, and it's safe for us. I could say many wonderful things about this arrangement, but it's not like having your own place where you can prepare a room for your child - we can't. It's not that kind of a situation. So it makes it ackward to know how to handle that. Jen's feeling the natural desires to create a place for Sarah, and we aren't able to do that right now. We aren't preparing physically for her arrival yet... and we need to. It's apart of expressing what our faith believes to be true, that she is going to live and be with us. It's all quite intense. We are walking on water and risking. We want to create a room that would be filled with a little life. But there is no guarantees. It's all faith. What is faith without risk? So we are in a holding pattern right now resting in His timing. But when we are cleared to land we want to get the signal and get down on the ground accordingly. We want to hear the sound, see the way, and go in it.

"And when she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for three months." There she (Moses' mother) is hiding her baby from death - what a situation. Jen and I have been experiencing this. We've been doing the same. We see that Sarah is beautiful and we want to keep her hidden from death.

And like it is for us, so it was for Moses' mother. There came a day when she could no longer keep the child hidden. Her own abilities to keep the child out of harms way were running out. There was no avoiding the reality that she was limited in what she could do to keep the child alive. Whatever things she could do to facilitate keeping him safe were no longer available to her anymore. She had to do something else. It seems at this point there was no other option for her but to move to a whole new place of trust. Somehow another way did open up to her. Something happened to give her the idea of a reed basket. All other doors seemed to have closed on her. Maybe God gave her the idea, I don't know. One thing it's saying to me from this story is that with God there is always a way, especially when it seems impossible. A reed basket covered in pitch and tar... what an idea to save a life.

Little Moses was placed in a basket covered with tar and pitch, the very life blood of trees. Once placed in the basket his life was surrounded by it. We are doing the same with our Sarah. We are placing her in the blood of Jesus and it covers her. As she sits in the reed basket of Jen's body, as she sits in the faithfulness of God, as her Mom and Dad trust her into the care of the Father, we wait patiently to see what will happen to her. We cover her with life everyday as we pray for her. She is our Sarah, our song, the princess we make melody in our hearts about.

It's about trust. It's about persevering under pressure. It's about resting in the faithfulness of God, trusting in who He is to us. We can do only so much in our capacities as people. We are limited. But with God, crazy things can happen - amazing things. Things that defy explanation other than the fact that God is real and does care about us and can do wonderful things for us simply because He is like that - He's wonderful! He's loving. He's unbelievably beautiful. Think of the most beautiful thing... and whatever that is doesn't come close to the beauty of God. So anyway, God is present and for us. He's got our backs and well He's got just about everything else too. All of us can't forget that. We are trying not to forget as well.

Thank you for praying for us. We so need it. Bless you for caring about us, for reading all this. May you come to know what we have come to know about Him through this situation... that He is trustworthy and good - I mean really, really good, incredibly good! And He's funny. I'm not kidding. The sense of humor in God is a killer! For us it has been a pure gift. It's like soothing balm on the heart releasing a fragrance of life. Because of Him we have been soaring like eagles the last couple of months. We could of easily been crawling under stones depressed to hide. But it's not been that way. It's so wonderful to not be alone... to be with Him, and Him with us. What a delight. He's been so available to us. I can't tell you how much that's meant to us. The presence of God... what a gift. It's so wonderful to hear Him whisper in your ear each day and say... "it's gonna be okay... don't worry. It's gonna be okay. I'm here, I'm with ya... I got ya... It's gonna be okay"

Remember, we all have times of reed baskets... and that's okay. Sometimes the options run out, and there isn't another way to go. In those moments be attentive to the way that seems impossible where you need a reed basket. They come in all shapes and sizes. Nevertheless you have to take a risk and put your trust in that reed basket that God is providing. You might be trusting with what you most love. You might be trusting in the midst of what you most fear, either way it is trust. It is trust in God, in who He is, and who He is for your life. This is faith... sometimes there is nothing left for us to lean on - everything else is gone and all we have is our faith. In those moments it's just you and Him. And you know, i think that's the way He likes it. Things get real for you then. They get transparently real between you and Him. What's in you comes to the surface. But that's okay, better it that way than smoke screens and illusions. We want reality, not religious non-sense. God's not afraid of taking us to the edge of what we fear the most... He's not. He'll take us there not for the sake of scaring us, but for the sake of setting us free. He doesn't like fear in any way. He makes no allowances for our worries and fears. He simply says, "Do not fear." In other words - get rid of it. Then He gives us the solution for our fears, "Perfect love casts out fear." That's where we are going. That's where He's taking Jen and I, and that's where He's taking you. So He'll lead you it seems straight into what is most terrifying at times for He's knows that freedom is just a veil away.

We are here in this life and have no control over what is going to happen in life, to our loved ones, or to us. It's out of our control. We learn that so very quick in circumstances like this that Jen and I are facing. We may be facing this now as if we are the only ones, but we're not the only ones. All of us will face them. We get to choose how we want to face them and walk through them. That choosing starts today, not tomorrow. If we wait to walk with God when crisis comes, we won't be ready, we'll likely fold. But if we start now, He will prepare us for what's to come. Either way He'll be God, it's just we have an advantage if we start now because we will have taken the time to understand Him and know how He does things and how to walk through difficult things the way that is most helpful to Him and to us. For what we are going to face in the days ahead will be glorious if we will but choose to be with Him and learn from Him, enjoy Him and receive from Him. For He knows the plans He has for you, for me, for all of us, plans to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope. We are to have hope! He has a future for us. Jen and I and Sarah have a future and a hope. We do. So come find yours if you haven't already. Come and see... And when all shakes loose, if and when it does, you'll be lifted on wings like eagles. You'll take to the air on the shoulders of the wind. We all are meant to fly. And Jesus says we are to fly when storms are raging... We can even still them. We first have to be still on the inside. All we need is time with Him and it will all make sense.

I bless you as you come to your moments of reed baskets. I bless you that joy and laughter is waiting there for you. May you know that He waits there for you, with open arms, anticipating giving you that bear hug that will squeeze into you all of His perfect love. I bless you. Trust Him... He is so worthy of your trust. He's shown it to us... just look at Jesus again, as if for the first time. Allow Him to pull off of your eyes the veils that blind Him to how trustworthy He really is. He loves you. He will never leave you to yourself... He will come. Just ask Him to. And like with Moses, He'll take whatever is trusted to Him and turn it into something so very special and beautiful.

28 weeks of life with Sarah, and more to come

The amazing "growing belly"!

We've reached 28 weeks now...can't believe how fast time has flown by the last 2 months since we received the diagnosis. I'm loving being pregnant and am feeling more and more connected to little Sarah every day. I love waking up to her kicking feet and imagining her snuggled up napping in my womb later in the day...so amazing. I've been playing lots of music for her and she seems to kick a lot more when her daddy is around...she loves his voice :) She's still breeched, but has a few more weeks to turn around...its actually been nice having her little hands up above punching me in the ribs, rather than her strong little legs! She's quite the fighter...beating all odds and proving the doctors wrong.

Last friday was such a shock - we weren't shocked by the news, we were prepared for that, but I wasn't prepared for the attitude of the doctor. Again he encouraged aborting our little girl...I had a hard time understanding how he could look up at the computer screen and see Sarah's beautiful face on there and STILL have that word "abort" come out of his mouth. It's sad to see how medicine has moved into a place of disposable life, where a child is no longer a child but simply an object inside my womb that can be disposed of. If something isn't perfect - they feel its okay to just discard it. Our prayers have been that God's glory would be revealed to the medical world surrounding us right now - that they would see that miracles still do happen and that God is a reality. We'd love for you to join us in praying for this...

I haven't been sleeping as well the last couple of weeks...I seem to wake up several times at night and have a hard time falling back asleep. In some ways, I've really enjoyed my alone time in the middle of the night, praying for my little girl and fighting for her life...I feel like my prayers and thoughts are consumed with her these days...I don't want to let a day go by where I'm not speaking life and blessing over her sweet little body. Joseph and I have both encountered miraculous healings all across the world - seeing the blind and deaf healed, broken bones set to perfection, etc - and we know that He is capable of healing our little girls heart and mind.

I've been thinking a lot about Joseph's job lately. He is a pastoral counselor, helping heal broken hearts and set captive minds free...we are seeing so much fruit and freedom coming from his ministry (Healing for the Heart)! It's been amazing to watch people transform before our eyes as God brings healing to pain that has been there for years...sometimes their entire lives. The ironic thing is - Joseph is working to heal hearts and minds - and that is the very thing being taken from our little girl, her heart and her mind. Jesus, we pray that you would redeem our little girl's heart and mind and bring freedom to her body. He is so capable and I feel our sweet Sarah is so worthy...I understand at a new level what its like for God to watch us in our pain. If I could take away the pain Sarah is feeling as her mom, I would do so in a heart beat. Watching your child suffer has to be the hardest thing we'll experience in life...I can't imagine how God must grieve as we as the church struggle for life here on earth.

Okay, enough rambling...just thought I'd fill you guys in on a snap shot of my journey with Sarah. I feel so honored and blessed to have been chosen as her mother - I honestly don't deserve a child as special as she is. God is gracious....

Drinking the Cup of Our Father...

Sarah Elizabeth Dalton

Today we found ourselves staring at an ultra-sound screen again, listening to a doctor tell us what he was seeing about our Sarah's little body. It was our second ultra-sound with in-depth analysis. The last one was two months ago to the day. We were late so I dropped Jen off in front of the office so I could go park the car. As she walked up the steps to the office her whole body felt heavy. Her steps became really labored and she said her legs were hard to lift. By the time she got inside she was light headed and starting to sweat. So she went to locate a bathroom. After wandering around the different office rooms for a moment she finally found it (she said she was in a total daze). By this time her dizziness was out of control and upon entering the bathroom she sat down, losing consciousness and passing out. About 5 minutes later she came to, splashed water on her face and joined me in the waiting room. She was in a relatively peaceful place. It was odd, she said her heart and mind were both totally at rest, but when she started climbing the stairs at that familiar place, her body went into some kind of shock. We both had a really peaceful non-stressful morning, and it continued like that even after she passed out. It was all really odd. Anyway, the results of the ultra-sound were forgetful. Not worth too much of a mention. But we will share the jist of it...

So we are drinking the cup of our Father... We are drinking the cup of our Father willing to follow Him where ever He leads. Our Sarah isn't what she should be yet. She is still awaiting her miracle. We are in the place of seeing the dream, though we feel like Joseph (Biblical) looking out from the bottom of a pit. Things appear as if they are going in the opposite direction, as Sarah's body is not yet compatible with life outside Jen's womb. Our ultra-sound today revealed no change in Sarah's condition. Our little girl is without half of her heart. She is also still missing parts of her brain matter and her hands are bent at the wrists, not properly developed. Remember though, this was not the voice of heaven speaking today. It was just man, and his machines, nothing more, nothing less. Our hearts are heavy today as you can imagine; nevertheless, we are leaning into our Father... for there is no one more faithful than Him. There is no one more trustworthy. We feel the weight of the news today... it was not easy to see her in a broken body still. Her body from the outside is beautiful (her hands are not formed properly, but the rest of her body seems to be okay), its just the inside that is desperate for healing. But this story is not over...

So our response is simple, we are rising to heavenly places and going beyond where we've been. We are taking her further into heaven in our hearts, in prayer, lifting her again into the face of our Father. We will continue to lay her into the arms of Jesus, into the arms of mercy, so that the things that would want to hold her life down would be released from her. She is still captive by her body, not yet whole, but we know that Jesus took captivity captive. So our hope is undiminished. We know things can change when His voice gives the command. We know that wings are given to angels. Sarah is a perfect candidate for those. We know that ashes and dirt can give way to new life. Seeds lay hidden for a time, but when they re-emerge they come forth green, like a bird escaping from a snare. They come forth set free. They come forth into light because nothing can hold down life. It will come forth. It will emerge.

There is so much we feel God has spoken about Sarah. We've been hearing and writing down the vision. They are the seeds of life that have yet to come forth... but we believe they will. So what exists in His heart, in Heaven, that has yet to come forth in the earth, in Sarah, we will contend for. We will continue to stay in a place of faith for her. Into our world may faith be born. Into all that would say otherwise, may life come forth. We can live faithless and join the masses or we can believe Him and take the journey wherever He leads. We can drink the cup like Jesus did or live without hope. For the joy set before us... We are drinking the cup of our Father.

Jen and I want you to know how thankful we are for holding us and Sarah up in prayer. It means the world to us. We are so blessed by the love and support people have been showing to us the last two months. If it's in you to keep praying with us, we would love for you to stay with us until we see Sarah born into our arms. Thanks again,

Joseph and Jen

27 weeks and counting...

Here are a few pictures of my growing belly :) My sister-in-law was asking for some, so here they are Catherine! I'm a bit larger than the last time you saw me!